The following is a contribution by outside blogger Gregory Sokoloff. Opinions expressed are solely those of Mr. Sokoloff.
Just yesterday, a curious document landed on my desk. Don’t ask me how. It’s a page from a diary belonging to a new Al-Qaeda leader, who writes under the pen name of Osama bin Laden II. It’s written in the form of a letter to the slain Al-Qaeda founder, which I have decided to reproduce here in full:
All this time, I have been thinking about how to avenge your death, but I feel I need your spiritual counsel.
We can try, of course, to engineer another 9/11. But let’s see for a moment what the first one has achieved. Has the United States changed its policy? No. Has it ended its military presence in the Middle East or abandoned Israel? No and no. And for that matter, has any country that was a target to a protracted bombing campaign – Britain, Spain, Israel, Colombia, Turkey, Russia – given in to such tactics. The answer, I am afraid, is again negative.
Sorry, bro. The only good thing I can see coming from 9/11 is that we have forced Americans to spend at least 1.2 trillion dollars to avenge the loss of two $200-million buildings. You can’t beat that — I have to give it to you. But that’s not enough.
Do you know what young Vladimir Lenin, the future mastermind of the 1917 Bolshevik revolution, said when his brother was sentenced to be hanged in a bombing plot to assassinate the Russian czar? He said, “We shall choose another way.” And, boy, did he choose well! And so, I think, should we.
Teacher, I have been doing a lot of reading lately, and I think I now know the answer. You have, of course, heard of Hugo Chavez, the out-of-control leftist Venezuelan president, who is now a big friend of Mahmud Ahmadinejad, Hamas and Hezbollah – all the people we also love.
Too bad he has cancer and may not last long. But I have been thinking: Will it be possible to elect a Hugo Chavez version 2.0 to the presidency of the United States? And the more I think about it the more I become convinced that it will. What do we need for that? First and foremost, a large impoverished, uneducated proletarian mass with a right to vote. Fifty percent of Americans are already too poor even to pay taxes and their ranks are growing. They have an army of illegal aliens, most of them day laborers with three or four years of formal education, waiting in the wings.
Advocates of their amnesty say there are about 11 million of them right now in the country. I personally think it’s probably four times that number. Give them all a right to vote and the political landscape of the United States will be changed dramatically and forever, giving rise to a political base that will facilitate the arrival of Hugo Chavez 2.0.
The Republican Party will immediately sail into oblivion as a party of idealistic white men, who think that voting masses always act rationally and choose the right way. Wrong! If impoverished and uneducated, they act impulsively and choose the easy way. Adolf Hitler, after all, was an elected leader — never forget that.
The guilt-ridden Democrats, who still wring their hands over the Trail of Tears, will stick around a while longer, mainly in the enablers’ role, but ultimately will be pushed do the sidelines as a spent force. Remember what Lenin used to say about “useful idiots.” That’s it. You got my point. I quote this guy too much for my own good.
The leader? I am not worried about that. Listen to people from the National Council of La Raza, LULAC, CARECEN, Latino TV networks, the Piolin radio show (that’s Hispanic anti-Rush Limbaugh), and you will see that the U.S. is replete with its own Chavezes-in-waiting.
The only missing link, as I can see it, is the right to vote, which will come from what they call over there “comprehensive immigration reform,” or amnesty for illegal aliens. As soon as they get political powers, they will open the floodgates for millions more, and the process will become irreversible. So, no more bomb theatrics, bro. At least, not for now. “Comprehensive immigration reform” is what we are going to promote.
Imagine in a not so distant future, president Hugo Chavez 2.0 of the Republica Bolivariana de Estados Unidos inviting me to the White House and the Marine Corps band playing the Al-Qaeda anthem. And George W. Bush, John McCain, Lindsey Graham and other tough-talking, little-thinking, supposedly conservative yesterday’s hawks standing at attention among the guests. And the jack-booted black-clad fellows from the Department of Homeland Security, which was originally formed to hunt me down, forming my security detail.
They think that “a dirty bomb” is the worst that could happen to them. Let’s see what they say when Chavez 2.0, a dear leader and ally, delivers the whole U.S. arsenal to Ahmadinejad and to me on a silver platter. You will excuse me, but that’s what I would call a real victory, bro, not your fireworks.
Respectfully, Osama bin Laden II